Early the next day Abraham got up and saddled his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about. ~ Genesis 22:3 (NIV)

About four weeks ago this was the key verse of my morning meditation. We all know the story.

Sarah and Abraham couldn’t have children until God visited them. And The Lord kept His promise. Sarah conceived. She had a child at the time her mates’ grandchildren graduated from high school.

The previous chapter, chapter 21, describes how God did what He promised to do at the very time He promised it. Sarah had a son, the only begotten son and Abraham did what he was commanded to do. When Isaac was eight days old he was circumcised. At this point Abraham was 100 years old.

Our memory verse describes how Abraham set out early in the morning. God spoke and Abraham responded, immediately. The very next day after God had spoken, he set out for the place that God directed him to. I marvel at Abraham’s level of obedience.

What went on that night, the night before he left with Isaac? Did Abraham sleep? He clearly didn’t tell Sarah what God had told him to do. Sarah would have told him off saying, ‘What do you think you are doing, Abraham? Killing the only son that God gave us? Do you actually think I can get pregnant again? At my age!’ She laughed. ‘You must be out of your mind.’

Yes, Sarah was a beautiful woman, but she liked things her way.

But Abraham was a wise man. So he probably just told her exactly what he told his servant. That father and son were going to worship God and come back. ‘No worries then,’ Sarah thought to herself.

When I read this verse on 31 August 2020 it hit me. And I asked myself: Could I do what Abraham did?

I’m in a very similar situation. My husband and I have waited. But God has not visited us yet. So, I asked myself this very question: If God gave me my only son today, would I sacrifice him?

The answer is NO.

I told God exactly that. I told Him that I couldn’t do it. I cannot do what Abraham did.

Does that mean that I’m not ready to serve Him? Does this mean that I still care too much about my own life? My own self? Possibly! But the truth remains the same, I cannot do what Abraham did.

THEN THE LORD SPOKE. He asked me: ‘What are you ready for?’

Wow! I didn’t expect that. And I thought that was a good point. I spent so much time explaining to God what I wasn’t ready to do for Him without sharing with Him what I was actually ready for.

And isn’t this exactly what we do? We spend so much time talking about the things that we cannot do, the things we cannot afford, the things we do not have, the things we are not capable of – instead of spending just a few moments on what we actually CAN do. By focussing on what we can do, on what we have, on what we are capable of doing, we get entitled to actually do it.

So, I answered. I told God that I was ready to serve Him. That I was ready to stand in front of people proclaiming the good news. I told The Lord: ‘I am ready to stand for you, Jesus! I’m ready to speak the truth about you, wherever you put me. I am ready to only do that which you tell me to do. That is what I can do and that is what I am ready to do for You.’

And God spoke again: ‘Very well!’

Hmmm, very well? What does that mean? How can that possibly be enough? I felt very inadequate. But The Lord said: ‘Very well.’ Who am I to doubt what the creator of heaven and earth says?

But I dared to ask another question: ‘Lord, what do you want me to do next?’

And The Lord said that I will move. But I didn’t quite understand. Move where? He said, ‘higher.’ That still wasn’t clear to me. My husband calls me slow sometimes. So, I asked God to specify. And He did! What exactly He said I, unfortunately, cannot disclose at this point. At least not yet!

But I’m sure my response to that revelation will shock you the more. Because I said, ‘NO.’ Again – I said NO. And I repeated it. Over and over again, just in case it wasn’t clear enough the first time around. I told God that I was not the right person for that job.

But God replied once more: ‘You are.’ And He went on: ‘You mentioned all the things that you are ready to do for me. Simply go back to that list. Because that is what I need you for. I don’t need you to kill your only son that is coming. I need you to do what you said you’re ready to do for me. That is all.’

Instead of feeling gratitude that I could be of service, I felt miserable. Why me? Why me?

Doesn’t this sound familiar? This is what Moses asked God too. His excuse was: “O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” (Genesis 4:10 NIV) And we all remember what Jonah did. When God called him, he ran away just to end up being swallowed by a great fish (Jonah 1:1-17 NIV).

And to make matters worse, I reminded God of who I was. Can you beat that? I tell you, our God is merciful. I started to list out all the things I was good at, the things I do at the moment. And God confirmed that those indeed were my talents. But The Lord said that He wanted to prosper me.

Finally, I started to listen and I started to repent. I admitted that I was sinful, that I kept making stupid mistakes. I asked Him for forgiveness. And The Lord said: ‘I love you, my daughter!’

At this point I almost cried. But not without asking God for some time to digest this news. The Lord said: ‘Digest!’ And further He asked me to sleep and eat.

Jesus cares. He is merciful. He is ever faithful.

The time I spent with God that morning was about 2 hours. But it felt like 10 minutes.

I am not worthy. But God chose me. And the only reason why I share these lines with you is because God told me to. I would not say I’m shy, but I’m an introvert. An extroverted introvert to be precise.

Perhaps like me, you are not ready to sacrifice your only begotten son yet. But there are so many other things He needs you for.

Are you ready to serve Him?

I recorded a video on how God speaks to us. Currently, I’m fascinated by the way He gets through to me.

Are you wondering how God speaks with us? And how can we hear God’s voice? That’s what we’re going to explore in this video. Find out in just 5 minutes how God speaks with us.

In the meantime, stay grounded and rooted in Christ!